Hey, how's it going? I know I haven't written on my blog in a long while... I've been kinda busy... Kinda. Hahahah!

I had planned to go to Puerto Galera last weekend... even if I had to go alone. I guess I was just itching to experience the beach once again. Plus, it had been so damn hot for a few weeks now!

Fortunately, I didn't have to go alone. A few friends from my previous work went with me... or I went with them... I dunno exactly which. Haha! Anyway, we got there Saturday afternoon... got ourselves a couple of nice rooms and started experiencing the beach... sun and all.

My previous trips to Galera had taught me quite a few things... don't drink too much too early... don't be afraid to smile and say 'hi' to people... let them see your fun side... and surround yourself with good wingmen (or wingwomen, in this case).

They didn't know it then, but Dulce and Marj (two of the girls I was with in Galera) turned into the perfect wingwomen that Saturday night! Heheheheh!

We started with the infamous Mindoro Sling after dinner and a sunset walk around the beach.We drank slowly, though (don't drink too much too early). We watched the firedancers do their thing (they were awesome... especially si kuyang hipon na may boyfriend na super cute na Australian!). Then, the bar wenches (who were all drag queens) danced to some Korean girl band dance song.

At first, I had my eyes on this gorgeous kid who was taking pictures of everyone with his DSLR camera. He was tall, slim, dark and really cute. Too bad he was straight. Major turn-off though was that he was flirting with absolutely everyone, going around from table to table and using his drunken charm. I would've loved to have a piece of that, but I thought he was much too hard to pin down at one place for a long period of time. I did say 'hi' to him and his friend and we got ourselves introduced (don't be afraid to smile and say 'hi' to people).

Then, I noticed the cute couple drinking on the table beside ours. One was obviously buzzed and coming off a little flaming; the other was the silent type and just smiled once in a while. I thought the silent one was a nice catch... but I wouldn't pass up on the other one as well. Hahaha!

More than half-way through our second pitcher of Mindoro Sling and we were starting to feel the effects of alcohol. Soon, Dulce, Marj and I were on our feet and dancing to the house music blazing from the bar (let them see your fun side). I'd catch one of the two guys looking at us and I would smile at them.

Soon enough, the flaming guy was on his feet as well dancing by himself as his silent boyfriend looked on. Since he was dancing alone, I thought it was rude if we didn't invite us to join us. So I put my arm around his shoulder and joined him while he was taking a picture of himself, and then asked him to join us.

He said his name was Chris and he introduced his boyfriend as Borj. After a little persuasion, Borj was dancing with us as well. Chris readily admitted that he and Borj were together... it was so easy getting information from him because he was too drunk to know better. Hahah! Chris asked if they could join our table, and of course, we agreed.

This was our third pitcher of Mindoro Sling, which meant that I had probably lost most of my inhibitions by that time. So, soon enough, I was visibly flirting with both Chris and Borj. When we got back to the table, Marj engaged Chris in a conversation, while Dulce and I talked to Borj. Eventually, Dulce became an observer while I talked to (and seduced) Borj (surround yourself with good wingmen).

After we finished our pitcher and the boys finished their beers, Chris wanted to party some more, but Borj said Chris was too drunk. I told Chris to go to the water and swim for a while to sober up a little. Unfortunately, he just rolled on the sand while he was walking towards the waters. So I picked him up and told Borj that we better get him back to their room. I tossed some change to the girls and told them I'd help Borj carry Chris to their room.

When we got to their room, I sent Chris to the shower while I flirted with Borj a little. They had a double decker, both queen-sized. Borj told me I could take the top bunk if I wanted to stay the night. Chris stumbled out of the bathroom naked and Borj had to wipe him dry with a towel. I helped in getting him on the bottom bunk of the bed. Borj put a shirt on him, but couldn't find a pair of his shorts. So, I just snatched away the towel and covered him with the blanket.

As Borj went into the showers, I told him I'd better try to get home. I went out of the room and started to trek my way back, but I (conveniently) got lost. So, I made my way to the room and found Borj taking a shower with the door open. I told him I got lost and I'd better stay the night with them. I was staring at his naked body all the while... and I wasn't hiding it.

I washed my face and washed my mouth with toothpaste and water in the bathroom as Borj toweled off. He was already lying next to Chris when I climbed up to the top bunk. I was about to doze off when I heard Borj calling my name and telling me that he was going out to buy some water and he could take me to my room. I said okay and went with him.

When we got to my room, I knocked and called out for Marj and Dulce. Fortunately, they were dead to the world and were not answering the door (great wingmen, I tell you!). So Borj told me it was okay and I should stay in their room. I thought it was his last-ditch effort to resist temptation.

After we bought a bottle of water, we made our way back to their room... and I was all over him while we were walking. When we got there, I went straight to my bunk and started dozing off, thinking that I would climb down in a while to try to get both of them in a threesome.

Borj, though, didn't go to sleep. He went out of the room for a while... to smoke, I suppose. Then, after he got back in, he went to the bathroom. I thought that was weird and I knew something was up. I was dozing off to sleep when I felt his hand on my shoulder. He was telling me to move over to the far side of the bed. He climbed up and lay beside me. Of course, I had my arms around him in a matter of seconds, and I spooned him.

Soon enough, my hands were going all over his body as my lips explored his neck.

I'll leave it to your imagination what happened after that. Hahah!

He took another shower after that, though. And after his shower, he went back to sleep beside his boyfriend as I got in the bathroom to clean myself up. I made my way back to my bunk and slept until the sun began to strike my face.

They were still sleeping when I got up. I decided not to wake either of them. I silently got myself out of the room and made my way back to my own room.

No, I was never planning to get in the way of their romance. Like I said, I wanted Borj because I thought he was a catch, but I wouldn't pass up on Chris either. I wanted to have a threesome with them. I could have been the stranger they wouldn't have to meet again ever. I guess Borj had another plan. And on their third year anniversary as a couple, Borj was with me... while his boyfriend was sleeping deeply on the bottom bunk.

I'm just glad I won't have to see both of them again.

I saw you last night. You were walking with Alei and you were wearing your Verizon jacket. You were smiling. You looked nice.

I had a blast in Puerto Galera the other night, just like you wished. I met some new people… partied all night… got a little wild. No fucking though.

Don’t get me wrong. I wanted to. But alcohol couldn’t quite take over my resolve against casual sex. I swore off casual sex a while ago. Bet you didn’t know that. You think I’d fuck anything with two legs that could walk. Truth is I’m done with that life. I don’t wanna be that guy anymore.

Given that, it’s kinda absurd that you think all I wanted from you was sex. I know Inan planted that idea in your head. He likes to think that he knows me. He doesn’t. He doesn’t have a clue what I’m all about. Nobody does, really. It’s funny that he thinks he and I are alike. He’s nothing like me. We’re not even in the same league.

Some little birdie also told me that you said that out loud… I mean me wanting only sex from you. That’s sad. I wouldn’t deny that I wanted to fuck your brains out. Can’t help that. I really, really liked you. But if it was all I wanted, I would’ve fucked you when I had the chance the first time we got together and then claim later on that I was just drunk. Instead, I settled for a “relationship”.

I was so excited about getting together with you, too. I mean, it’s really been a long time since I was in a relationship. I was ecstatic about being “the boyfriend” again. I failed miserably, of course. I guess I wasn’t really the boyfriend material, after all. Then again, you weren’t either.

The weekend after we got together, you remember that? You were the one who told me you’d spend it with me. I got everything in my house ready for you. I washed all the dishes in the sink. I tidied the place up. I bought groceries and cooked food for you. I even cleaned up the goddamn bathroom.

I texted you to ask you what time you were coming over. When you didn’t text me back, I tried calling you. You didn’t answer. Three hours later, you texted back saying you couldn’t make it because you need to accompany your mom for a check up, which you could’ve told me the day before so I wouldn’t have made a big fuss about you coming over when you really weren’t.

You said you’d come over the next day instead. Truth is, I was already really pissed at the time. You cancelled on me on our very first real date. How do you suppose I should feel? So, I told you to forget it. I got work.

Louie told me that it was too early to start a fight. So, I just let it go. Well, I tried. And I was doing so good at it… at least until I realized it was eating me up inside… silently.

For the next few days, I tried to invite you to hang out after work. I even waited for you a couple of times. But after getting only excuses from you a couple of times, I figured this wasn’t really getting anywhere. That’s why I didn’t ask you to hang out the next weekend. I figured you’d just try to find another excuse to squeeze yourself out of it.

Truth is I was looking for an excuse to start a fight. And you gave me a damn good one. So, I showed you my other side. The jerk. The confrontational, no-holds-barred, foul-mouthed asshole. What can I say? In less than two weeks that we were together, you brought out the best and the worst in me.

So, I did what needed to be done. I ended it. What hurt me the most, though, is that you let me end it that easily. You didn’t even fight to stay with me. You just accepted it. This from a guy who says he loved me.

It was funny how you always profess that you loved me. You told our colleagues at the office that you did. You texted me that you did. Truth is I never really believed you. I didn’t believe you because you never said it to my face… while looking me in the eye. You never really look me in the eye when we talk. It makes me think that you were always hiding something from me.

Did you ever notice that I never said it back? I always told you that I cared about you, but I’d never said I loved you. Because the truth is, I wasn’t there yet. I have feelings for you, that’s for sure. Is it love? Not yet. You never really gave me the chance to fall for you. So, I got stuck in infatuation and frustration.

More emphasis on frustration because you totally defied my definition of what a boyfriend should be. I told Louie I should have said this when I was breaking up with you: “If I wanted a girlfriend, I’d get myself one.” But that was just mean, I know.

Then again, if anything that Francine and Drew were saying was true, that would be worse than anything I could say to you. Truth is I don’t believe them. They were drawing a picture of you that I couldn’t recognize… like it’s a totally different person that they were talking about. Then again, I don’t really know you that well, do I? We never got there, either.

But for the sake of my sanity, I really can’t believe them. I mean, it’s unfathomable for me why you would want a puff-eyed fish fry when you could have me anytime you want. I know I’m not as hot as I used to be, but I still am way, way better on my worst day than that guy.

What I could believe, though, is you denying that we were together. And you said so yourself. You denied it when someone who lives near you asked you about us. That stung like a motherfucker. It could be worse, though. You could’ve denied us in order to get laid, which is one of the things that Drew was claiming.

Well, it’s just a sad, sad situation, really. I wanted you. And I told you that if you wanted me, too, I’m yours. You said you did. Apparently, you didn’t. Or, at least, not enough.

It’s done, then. It’s really over. And I’m moving on. No use waiting for you.

Maybe someday you’re gonna look back and regret that you didn’t fight for me harder. Then again, maybe not. Maybe someday you’re gonna feel comfortable enough in your own skin and be free from all the fears and insecurities that you have now. Maybe someday you’ll finally find the courage to be with me. But I can’t wait for you anymore. I can’t wait for you to grow a set of balls. I can’t wait for you to finally be honest with me and to yourself. I can’t wait for you to be in the same place as I am now.

And I most certainly will not go back to the place you’re in now. It’s suffocating in there.

Word of advice, though… Don’t get a boyfriend yet. At least not until you get your shit together.

As for me, I probably won’t be jumping into any relationships for a while. My first boyfriend scarred me for life. And the last one reminded me why I don’t do boyfriends.

Maybe I should just go back to casual sex after all. Hahaha!

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It’s your birthday today. Happy Birthday. c”,)