11/10/08: No Clue
I like green eyes. I used to wear green contact lenses that really looked perfect on me. Some even thought they were real. I guess I looked good in them as well.
But then, I wish they were just plain real… I wish my eyes were just green, not the boring dark brown that I have now. Then again, I doubt if I’d be contented if my eyes were really green. Maybe I’d be jealous of James Marsden’s beautiful blue eyes. Then, maybe I’d wish mine were blue as well.
The thing is, I always want something that I know I can’t have. Can’t help it. It’s human nature, I guess. Or, at least, my nature.
Then, there are things that I thought I want until I actually have them and I just totally lose interest. Take that bicycle I bought a few months ago. I thought I wanted it, so I bought it. Now, I don’t even use it anymore. It’s in my backyard gathering rust… probably. I mean, I haven’t even looked at it in a while.
And now I want something else. Or at least I think I do. I don’t know…
Last Friday, I was in one of my dark moods again. Maybe it was because my friends Arx and Sarah were acting like brats. Arx mostly. I mean, I could only take so much whining in a day, you know.
We were supposed to hang out at Clarence’s apartment after work, but I just opted not to join them. I mean, I wasn’t really invited personally anyways. It was just assumed that I was coming… or the invitation was relayed through the others… I forgot… it was one of those things. I guess sometimes it just bugs me when I’m not really the first pick. (Now, I’m being a brat. Haha!)
Nah, my dark mood wasn’t really because of that. After all, there were times when I was invited to a wedding or some party (with a real invitation), and I chose not to go just because I didn’t feel like it.
Maybe I didn’t join them Friday morning because Arx was holding some girl’s hand. I mean, part of the fun with regard to hanging out with this bunch is my overt flirtations with Arx. If he had a girl with him, that kinda diminishes the fun.
Then again, I wasn’t really in the mood to flirt with Arx last Friday because I was still pretty pissed at his whinings about his new team. Acting like some spoiled brat doesn’t really increase his pogi points.
Maybe I was just stressed out. After all, it was a pretty stressful week doing uhh… well, you know, like uhm… (what the fuck did I do last week?!?!?)
But then again, I had a full day and full night’s sleep last Friday. And then slept some more on Saturday. And then got invited again to a drinking session Sunday morning, which I turned down, too. I just didn’t feel like going out, is all.
Fuck! I need a major ego boost right about now. I’m feeling like the last kid picked on the playground… or the kid who was told to just stand under the hoops and look mean because he can’t be trusted with a basketball.
And the most frustrating thing about this is that I don’t have a fucking clue why I’m feeling this way. It’s not like I’m the King of Loserville… but I feel like the freakin’ Crowned Prince.
Aaarghh! I need to see a feel-good movie… Where the fuck is that High School Musical DVD when you need it?!?
But then, I wish they were just plain real… I wish my eyes were just green, not the boring dark brown that I have now. Then again, I doubt if I’d be contented if my eyes were really green. Maybe I’d be jealous of James Marsden’s beautiful blue eyes. Then, maybe I’d wish mine were blue as well.
The thing is, I always want something that I know I can’t have. Can’t help it. It’s human nature, I guess. Or, at least, my nature.
Then, there are things that I thought I want until I actually have them and I just totally lose interest. Take that bicycle I bought a few months ago. I thought I wanted it, so I bought it. Now, I don’t even use it anymore. It’s in my backyard gathering rust… probably. I mean, I haven’t even looked at it in a while.
And now I want something else. Or at least I think I do. I don’t know…
Last Friday, I was in one of my dark moods again. Maybe it was because my friends Arx and Sarah were acting like brats. Arx mostly. I mean, I could only take so much whining in a day, you know.
We were supposed to hang out at Clarence’s apartment after work, but I just opted not to join them. I mean, I wasn’t really invited personally anyways. It was just assumed that I was coming… or the invitation was relayed through the others… I forgot… it was one of those things. I guess sometimes it just bugs me when I’m not really the first pick. (Now, I’m being a brat. Haha!)
Nah, my dark mood wasn’t really because of that. After all, there were times when I was invited to a wedding or some party (with a real invitation), and I chose not to go just because I didn’t feel like it.
Maybe I didn’t join them Friday morning because Arx was holding some girl’s hand. I mean, part of the fun with regard to hanging out with this bunch is my overt flirtations with Arx. If he had a girl with him, that kinda diminishes the fun.
Then again, I wasn’t really in the mood to flirt with Arx last Friday because I was still pretty pissed at his whinings about his new team. Acting like some spoiled brat doesn’t really increase his pogi points.
Maybe I was just stressed out. After all, it was a pretty stressful week doing uhh… well, you know, like uhm… (what the fuck did I do last week?!?!?)
But then again, I had a full day and full night’s sleep last Friday. And then slept some more on Saturday. And then got invited again to a drinking session Sunday morning, which I turned down, too. I just didn’t feel like going out, is all.
Fuck! I need a major ego boost right about now. I’m feeling like the last kid picked on the playground… or the kid who was told to just stand under the hoops and look mean because he can’t be trusted with a basketball.
And the most frustrating thing about this is that I don’t have a fucking clue why I’m feeling this way. It’s not like I’m the King of Loserville… but I feel like the freakin’ Crowned Prince.
Aaarghh! I need to see a feel-good movie… Where the fuck is that High School Musical DVD when you need it?!?
